NAME: Poole, Don
PRIOR OFFENSES: Offroad Thunder (PSX)
Ready to Rumble 2 (PSX)
CHARGED W/: LEVELING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT
Exerpt from suspects singles ad:
“WM 30-something. Saucy, vivacious, unexpected. Loves writing letters to the Queen of England (Victoria) and long walks on the beach (looking for submarines). Very safe for social interaction when medication has been properly administered.
Turn ons: fire, bouncy rubber balls, forks.
Turn offs: nets, K9 Units, Orderlies
Leave a message, the Board of Administrators will get back to you.”

(psych dept. note: working to get details- working through thick Tennessee accent)